I wrote two versions of this...and i posted the "wrong" one. Here is the 'alternate ending,' if you will:
could buy that pair of shoes. You know those low heels, with rounded toes and cute little accents or something like this and it would not stop my from walking to the right, but/yet/and I don’t need them. And even though it would be useful and even fun, I don’t need them. And maybe shoes are a good way to start practicing the different between need and want.
No one will notice if I do not buy them and no one will notice if do, beyond a few potential comments: what cute shoes! For some reason this is the stuff of life. Like the stuffing of the insides of Raggedy-Anne. I wonder what the effects of my soles have on my soul.
At 4 am, in Manila, I once ran through the streets with a rag-tag group of boys from the slums and the pastor of the church. We ran about 2 or 3 miles, before the sun rose and too many jeepneys were on the streets. They mostly ran in sandals. One boy’s flip flop broke at the place between the toes that holds it all together. He continued running, either bare foot, or with the broken sandal, so he was shuffling. When me passed the Malacanang Palace (the white house equivalent of the phillipines) we counted the windows, because such a thing was much more impressive than anything else. “That is my parents house” one boy joked, “I just chose to live by the riles instead”
1 comment:
Hey chica,
I loved the Shuffle before this alternate ending, probably because it was my first impression.
Swangerize? I dunno, doesn't really matter because the voice is still there.
You speak of despair like it's a slow Wednesday afternoon, and it leaves just enough room for hope.
"a thing with feathers" you always quote, and I think the first post of Shuffle emulated hope as just that--the nearly playful diction next to the bleak surroundings makes it hard to feel really BAD at the end of it.
You just...understand. I don't think that makes any sense.
Anyways, keep dancin.
Post a Comment