A psalm to the tune of Averill’s “Why you got to go make things so complicated” Or 20 reasons I am not in a cult Or Every single cell in my body IS Or

I am tired of everything being so complicated.

Set aside for a moment all the countries in the world, with their multiple languages, alphabets and cultures.

Set aside AIDS, politics, and the rules for Olympic Ice Skating

Set aside even your neighbors and all their woes, set aside the abacus and the computer, the elasticity of rubber bands and the grief over the person who recently died.

I am freaking out because I have these strange appendages of legs and arms. (not that I should like to do without them, that would just ensue further complications). So these appendages extended from my body with short hair that on my legs I should shave and my arms I don’t need to shave (except under my arms mind you, since I am an American woman after all) and each arm has a hand and each has 5 fingers and each finger has a fingernail which I had to trim this morning. We take these appendages for granted as normal. I was created in the image of God so I guess God has arms and legs?

To further complicate this scenario is each of these appendages has feelings. For example if I were to walk into a blazing fire, it would hurt. To make things more complicated, each arm and leg not only has physical feelings but is attached to emotional feelings. For example if you were to gently punch me in the arm and say, hahaha that was a good joke Alessandra, I might feel a little special. However if you were to punch me in the arm and run out of the room yelling, “I hate you alessandra and I never want to see your ugly face again.” I would probably feel very sad and hurt.

To even further complicate the scenario the things that can be done with these alien appendages changes depending what I have in my hand or where I am standing. If there was gun, I could shoot you, physically that would be a possibility, but perhaps my emotions and/or morals would stop me from doing such a thing. If I had a wad of cash or even a credit card, I could go on a thoughtless shopping spree. Alas I have neither but a board full of buttons touching my fingers, (we call it a keyboard as keys and buttons are the same thing, I guess).

We take these arms and legs for granted. You can tell because the models on the run way, their clothes have special exits for each arm and each leg. Diapers were designed to be useful in conjunction with legs. Wedding rings only helpful if hands are attached to arms are attached to the bodies of the one you want to marry.

Why did I wake up so bothered by the fact that I have arms and legs full of cells and each of these with its own nucleus and mitochondria and a 100 other things I can not remember from bio class.

In high school while reading Waiting for Godot, we studied existentialism. (which is a complicated word just to spell). These strange creatures: bnumienhags have evolved/created with the strange need for God. Christians have found this God while Estragon and Vladimir are still waiting and wondering what the hell they are doing with these strange appendages.

Once while in the jerky motions of G’s driving, I asked him about the cult and why he stayed so long. He said he had had his doubts for some 20 years or maybe it was just 10 years but then what, he was so dependent on the group, he didn’t know how to live life apart from the group, and perhaps prayers were even answered and children were born. You do what you know. Some freaking half a life time later he decided to leave and stand on his own two shaky and wobbly feet

1. If I left right now, no one would stop me.
2. unlike Matt Salmon, and Geoffrey Setjo and G (minus 10 years) I don’t have a bible verse to spout every time someone asks me a questions about what I believe that I could beat you into the ground with so you don’t question me any more.
3. From Oscar in Congo to JRS in Santa Cruz to the friends I have met in LA to Pstr J. and his wife in Payatas, the people I have not met in Peru and Mexico city, to the scholars in Sri Lanka to homeless who believe, the nuances of what we believe and how we live our lives in knowledge of the belief may be different but the essence of what we believe is the same and we are not all sending our money to a Swiss bank account nor are we all following some Charismatic leader who changed his name in the 70’s to make it sound more biblical.
4. When I pray and ask for guidance I check it against the bible, check in with some friends, my own conscience and desires, not just some feeling or abstract “yes” and then I go and hop aboard band wagon of what all my friends are doing.
5. the only time I have been locked in a bathroom was that time at grandma’s old house when I was a child and the bathroom doorknob broke and you had to call a lock smith.

I am just so tired of abstractions. Faith. Glory. Blessings.
But maybe I just missed the page where it explained what glory is.

I am tired of being a slave. A slave to the American mentality that I cant escape because its all I have know. A slave to my emotions. A slave to gravity. A slave to trying to figure things out. A slave to human relationships. A slave to WellPoint and money. A slave to food and water. A slave even to the enneagram!!! A slave. I have seen enough to know of the slavery talked about in Ephesians, but not enough to find my way out from that incessant boulder that keeps squashing me.

Definitions of glory on the Web:

-a state of high honor; "he valued glory above life itself"
-brilliant radiant beauty; "the glory of the sunrise"
-aura: an indication of radiant light drawn around the head of a saint
-rejoice proudly
-Glory is a 1989 film which depicts the Union's attack on Fort Wagner during the American Civil War, which was spearheaded by Robert Gould Shaw's 54th Massachusetts Regiment.
-Glory is a KMFDM single from their album Angst. It contains two remixes of the title track "Glory" (as well as the version from Angst), plus remixes of the tracks "Lust" and "Move On", both originally from Angst. There is also a remix of "Trust" which would be a song on their album Nihil.
-Glory (from the Latin gloria, "fame, Judeo-Christian religious tradition. In Hebrew it would probably be the הוד Hod.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glory_(religion)
-A glory is an optical phenomenon produced by light reflected toward its source by a cloud of uniformly-sized water droplets. A glory can have multiple colored rings. The angular size is much smaller than a rainbow, about 5° to 20°, depending on the size of the droplets. Since it is seen in the direction opposite the sun it is most commonly observed while airborne, with the glory surrounding the airplane's shadow on clouds.
-Glory, also known as Glorificus or The Beast, is a fictional character in the American television series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, played by Clare Kramer. She appeared during most of the fifth season of the program.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glory_(Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer)



CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This e-mail message, including any attachments, is for the sole use of the intended recipient(s) and may contain confidential and privileged information or otherwise protected by law. Any unauthorized review, use, disclosure or distribution is prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please contact the sender by reply e-mail and destroy all copies of the original message.