Back on the Inside

Life. Both here and there are life. Inside and outside of the cubicle is life. Both are three dimensional and tangible and photographable. But outside the cubicle, outside the country the travelers you meet are excited about life. They are interested and interesting. Here, on the inside of Los Angeles sky scrapers, on the fifth floor of the 801 Tower people are not excited about life. Here they seem to be a different breed. Instead of the excited and exciting, they are the bored and the boring. It is Friday. I see people I used to see everyday. Now I notice their puffy and strained faces. Recovering from hangovers? Swallowing toxic boredom causing allergic reactions? Am I being harsh, and cruel and judgmental? Or is it these grey walls, the daily monotony of email and phone call just suck the life out of people and the people here endure it for money. Some are not the bored and boring: they are the beautifully makeup-ed and gym obsessed, their endorphins are going and their ambition stimulates them in the fluorescent lit, machine humming place. But whether bored or beautiful all gorge themselves with Complaining and Gossip.


No one realized I was coming back today. After exclamations of welcome and hugs, they comment on my tan, my smile, how relaxed and healthy I look.


How do I stay impervious? Will I be able to resist toxic gossip and complaint? Will my tan, smile, health disintegrate under the computer screen glare?


(My friend answered the question: Yes. In about 4 months you will be at grad school. Poetry).