I searched the bible for the word devil (thank you biblegatway.com) and then i replaced that word with the word 'television' (thank you control + f) what do you think?
1. Matthew 4:1
[ The Temptation of Jesus ] Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the television.
2. Matthew 4:5
Then the television took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple.
3. Matthew 4:8
Again, the television took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor.
4. Matthew 4:11
Then the television left him, and angels came and attended him.
5. Matthew 13:39
and the enemy who sows them is the television. The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels.
6. Matthew 25:41
"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the television and his angels.
7. Luke 4:13
When the television had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time.
8. Luke 8:12
Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the television comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved.
9. John 6:70
Then Jesus replied, "Have I not chosen you, the Twelve? Yet one of you is a television!"
10. John 8:42
[ The Children of the Television ] Jesus said to them, "If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and now am here. I have not come on my own; but he sent me.
11. John 8:44
You belong to your father, the television, and you want to carry out your father's desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.
12. John 13:2
The evening meal was being served, and the television had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus.
13. Acts 10:38
how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the television, because God was with him.
14. Acts 13:10
"You are a child of the television and an enemy of everything that is right! You are full of all kinds of deceit and trickery. Will you never stop perverting the right ways of the Lord?
15. Ephesians 4:27
and do not give the television a foothold.
16. Ephesians 6:11
Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the television's schemes.
17. 1 Timothy 3:6
He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the television.
18. 1 Timothy 3:7
He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the television's trap.
19. 2 Timothy 2:26
and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the television, who has taken them captive to do his will.
20. Hebrews 2:14
Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death—that is, the television—
21. James 3:15
Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the television.
4 comments:
it makes me view the television in a completely different light.
kind of silly, kind of informative huh?
i am terrible at keeping up with people's blogs, but that was one of the most fascinating things i've ever read. i love you alessandra. and that made me laugh and think.
I love #21.
Especially because I have 7th graders this week. I offered myself up for their questions for "Interview a Naturalist", but all they asked me were silly questions like "Where do you shop?" and "Have you seen Twilight?" It was ridiculous.
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