Sometimes, I wonder if, I should ever get married, who would walk me down the aisle. Although I am on speaking terms with my father as of late (although we do not often find reason to communicate) it seems like an irreverent and irrelevant act to give him such a pivotal role in a wedding procession, since his role in my life has been more of stumbling block, obstacle course on my way to ever engaging in such a act of marriage. What right has he to give me away. I am sad my grandfather is not alive, because then perhaps, i could put to rest these silly thoughts, since I am far away from marriage. However, after reading "Genesis, Fathers, and the Political Liberty of Sons" by Feminist Theorist Carol Pateman, I find myself thinking about it again. I feel violated by the stories that have given way to the modern concepts of society, citizenship, politics. These stories include male-centric interpretations of the Genesis creation story, the female body, Freud, and other Male thinkers. The first political act, even before father as head of household was created, it seems was the man having conjugal-rights over his wife's body. Blach! YchK! Throw-up!
This, however, is not often talked about since, women really don't count, matter, and are such frivolous, nature-driven creatures they cannot control their desires, and therefore need the sane, civil, man to protect and guide them and keep them modest while birthing and bathing his children. The children who if they are sons, will grow up and at a certain age, reach adequate strength and reasoning ability to become equals with the father, put off his guiding hand, and join the fraternity of brothers as such is civil society. However, if the child is a daughter, she will grow up, only to be walked down the aisle from and handed over from one man to another. This makes me wonder why, after, my grandfather and father, on the list of people to walk me down the aisle my next candidates were: my brother, my uncle. Both of whom I love, both of whom have no right to give me away. Why did I not think of my mother, the woman who raised me, my sister, my peer and great influence on my life. I should perhaps be walked down the aisle by all the woman who have ever helped me in shaping me become a strong, capable, member of society. But that would just turn the wedding into a circus and all the guests would have to walk down the aisle and then there would be no one seated in the chairs or pews.
So then I recall to mind the end scene of
The Sound of Music where with no explanation, Maria walks down the aisle, tall, firm, alone. She gives herself away. As a child watching that movie, it was one of my favorite scenes. She seemed so strong, so capable. A choice. She is walking herself down the aisle.
In practice today it might seem sad, a pity, that I could not find a reasonable fatherly substitute. And there would have to be an asterisk on the wedding program explaining the feminist theory behind the act as at some cross-cultural weddings, the unfamiliar symbols, such as the exchanging of a necklace at an Indian wedding, are explained in a small font.
Luckily, I am far from the day of wedding planning and all this can remain intangible theoretical solutions.
