Googling yr name / Parrellel Universes

Do you ever google your name? Yes.

Today I googled mine and found a parallel universe blog:

Alessandra's Adventures in Santa Ana

Not There Yet

June 28 2005

Its about two months until i will be moving to Santa Ana. I've been checking out the place on maps. Its not as far south as I first thought. I am still wonderinng what kind of job to get. I think I will just apply to all the ones I find and see what happens. Its tough but good to learn to trust Jesus in this new environment.

For a minute I thought there was some other Alessandra with my zodiac sign on blogger, but all signs pointed this to being me. I couldn't remember what on earth, if this was me, I was talking about.

Then I remembered that for a minute I was going to be on the Santa Ana SP team before that did not happen. How different would have my life had been if it had occurred. Reminds me of some recent fiction I have read.


I am thankful for my life. for my school. where I am today. I am thankful for a lot of things. even the essay I should be writing and stories I should be grading.

ahh!

relying on cliches because i'm tired

This week has had its majors ups and downs. Way Downs. Way ups. I cried for about 24 hours (sadly, this is a literal statement) regarding a paper I received back from a professor. B+ in grad school means Fail. You suck. Drop the Class. However, I have decided to accept this grade. I told the prof, I learned a great deal from writing this paper. I need now to turn my attention to poetry. It's just frustrating you can not see what I have learned, and the great value I have in this class from my paper.

She accepted this resolution and I am not rewriting a paper which would be like torture to re-write. pointless torture at that.

That was the extreme low.

the extreme high was tonight's poetry reading. I proved something new to myself tonight, which may sound weird, but feels earth shattering to me:

I can read poetry out loud, my poetry out loud, well. and I enjoy it. And it feels important.

Revelatory even.

good night.

sometimes

somethings make me saddish. no raddish will do.

this is one.

i am tired. goodnight.

Why isn't this bigger news

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Sean Hannity Uses Glenn Beck's Protest Footage
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Writing it down

1. 3 dreams, in a series in one night. In dream #2 I could remember dream #1 and I retold the happenings of dream one so the characters in dream #2, #3 could help me interpret them. Oceans. Oceans. Oceans. Tall, hunchback, climbing walls, scarves. Storm radar. very tired when i awoke.

2. I am upset with Wal-Mart. Nothing new. Just a lot of commercials. Telling me and the rest of America that we deserve to "live better" with lots of lots of lots of THINGS. The fine print: you may lose your soul in the clutter of napkin rings, kids toys, and shoes. The fine print: you live in the opulent lap of kingly wal-mart throne at the expense of the men and women in factories, the men and women getting paid minimum wage, at the expense of the planet getting polluted with the trains, plains, and trucks criss-crossing the globe to bring you your tea, apples, placements, dress. We are going to hell in a handbasket, is a popular phrase. I think wal-mart is decorating our handbaskets.

3. The Southlands

If I did not have magnets

sewn into my seams, & my

shoulder blades. Would I press

into you? Would you

drive north across the trampled

grasslands, the pink sun pulling

the flat horizon—the shadows

stretching like spider webs.

Would I hold out

my hand to you, your mouth

an edge. ‘Hello’ lifting

the bindings of self

& apathy. Your mouth asking

me to scissor them away.

I with my magnets, my mouth,

observe you sitting in your chair

& I wonder if I will choose

to love you.