Destination: News channels can't stop talking about. Here are some other thoughts

So many people I have spoken to today have told me, "you know it's weird, I just had pulled out Thriller this morning and was listening to MJ."

Michael Jackson Died. I don't know why I am freaking out so much. I didn't know him. I didn't want to know him. I was never a die-hard fan. I don't know all the dance moves to thriller. I don't know all the words to to Beat It. I do remember being 4 years old and singing (and reflecting on) the deep meanings in the lyrics, "I'm looking at the man in the mirror. I am asking him to change his ways." Michael Jackson. King of Pop. Whether or not you were ever a fan in a screaming crowd. If you have been alive any time between 1968 and now, you have been influenced by MJ at the very least because those around you and your environment have been influenced by him.

I have purposely chosen to post a picture of him as child. When all that stood before him were the shiny things of hope, fame, fortune. We did not know of the future surgeries, mysteries, skin-whitening treatments, court cases, immortality chambers, Neverland Ranches. We had only hope for style, music, and fresh new dance steps. He gave those. Generously. MJ was the King. The King of Pop. And though very much loved by many around the world, he was very much an american symbol, and american phenomenon: an american product.

Perhaps what is feathering around in my conscious as I reflect on the life and death of MJ is that I can not stand to think of what he became. Dancing, singing, African American child from Gary, Indiana who earned millions of dollars, fans, status as virtuoso. This for him became unrestrained means for loneliness, self-hatred, unmitigated demonstrations of the ills and pains of abuse, and other terrors. Perhaps I am taking too much liberty in interpreting the actions of the older MJ. But it seems plausible that self-hatred was the cause of so many surgeries, skin-whitening, and other detestable, inexcusable things the King of Pop did to himself and others.

We love MJ for the moon walk, for the albums, the style. And truly I have no need to tell you that it is all breathtaking, stunning, genius. But I also fear MJ. He, no doubt, is the symbol the creative genius, dancing artistry, darkness. Michael Jackson represents the success and the sickness that is America.

Maybe I am being overdramatic. maybe not.